First Annual No Balance Method Conference

Dr. Zang Fool, master of the No Balance Method, will present this new powerfully chaotic treatment system over a three day period this October.  The No Balance Method is the culmination of several hours of painstaking work by Dr. Fool, in which he discovered the only yin-yang balance sequence that does not have a single line of static balance between limbs.  Hesitating to reveal it until the stars were perfectly aligned to sustain the magnitude of blasphemous cacophony created by the No Balance Method, Dr. Fool is certain that the time is right for practitioners to learn and apply his new acupuncture treatment system en masse.  

The No Balance Method follows the dynamic balance sequence of alternating yin and yang channels on the limbs in a clockwise fashion.  However, as there is not one single line of static balance as determined by the seven known systems of the balance method, the No Balance Method is a unique and powerful system that has never been revealed…until now!  You can enhance your practice by using the laws of the No Balance Method the very next day in clinic after lecture by the esteemed Dr. Fool.

In order to attract practitioners to the conference, Dr. Fool has elected to release the channels needled with the No Balance Method.  However, practitioners must be advised that the spiraling nature of dynamic balance unrestrained by the static balance of the seven balance method systems can be like an unchecked nuclear reaction with powerful results.  A nuclear reaction can power a city of millions.  It can also wipe it off the face of the earth.  Without proper training to harness the awesome power released when initiating dynamic balance without the stablizing presence of static balance, practitioners can seriously injure or even kill their patients and themselves!  The great Dr. Fool himself practiced the subtleties of the No Balance Method on himself for years after his nephew exploded from an improper treatment.  Such is the potential of untrained use of the No Balance Method.

The No Balance Method sequence is as follows:

HT———TW
          X   
BL———-LV

How one uses the points of the shu cycle, xi cleft, source and luo points all have practical and potentially deadly applications.  Don’t make the mistakes that Dr. Fool has already outlined for you in a pre-packaged, three day, learning extravaganza!  Learn the clinical applications of No Balance Method and raise the bar of your treatments today!

Day 1- Clinical Perplexions with the No Balance Method-  On day 1 Dr. Fool will unveil the lack of depth and complete void of meaning implicit in the channels selected in the No Balance Method.  The point combinations that are used to create chaotic calm and creativity will also be unveiled, as well as the point combinations that can lead to disaster.  Dr. Fool will discuss No Balance diagnostics and clinical applications.  Day 1 will end with in-class demonstrations of the No Balance Method on willing class participants, but only after Dr. Fool reveals the awful power of misusing the No Balance Method by exploding a live chicken.

Day 2- The Three Inessentials- Level 1 (Patients, Practice and Priorities) Dr. Fool will teach you how these three inessentials are the ultimate obstacles to truly harnessing the theoretical aspects of the No Balance Method.  It takes a lot of time thinking out the nuances of the No Balance Method in order to grasp the sheer awesomeness of its non-theories.  Don’t let these three inessentials stand in your way!

Day 3- Dr. Fool’s application of Dr. Tung’s Points-
  Learn how Dr. Fool uses the points of the famous Dr. Tung in his clinic.  Nobody slips you the Tung like Dr. Fool.  Don’t miss this fun and intimate journey with Dr. Fool into the depths of Tung.

Hotel information: DoubleFee Hotel  CEU City 600 Dollar Dr Arlington, VA 22202 Tel: 703-555-4100 Fax: 703-555-4147 Single Room $99.00 (Please book with the hotel at least 4 weeks before the seminar for limited discount availability)

The Zang Fool
Author: The Zang Fool

<p> This is a satirical blog post by a practitioner that is serious in his attempts to both increase acupunctures accessibility to the public and challenge practitioners preconceived notions of what acupuncture is and how it functions in society. It may make you laugh, but that is just a means to an end. That end is thought and ultimately positive change. This is what all good satire does: prick, prod and provoke thought and positive change within a community. </p> <p> Satire has long been a part of muckraking and this profession is teeming with muck.  So, in the wake of the nonsense spewed from the foul anus of the Acupuncture-Industrial Complex come my musings on life, love and the proposed doctoral program. </p>

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Responses

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  1. Sign me up! This is the

    Sign me up!

     

    This is the enhancement that my practice has been looking for.

    This is the method of no method that my patients need.

    I’ll bring my pet chicken Bertha. 

  2. I’m in!

    Makes more sense than some seminars I’ve attended!

    MM

  3. Man, I better go to this

    had a pt spontaneously combust the other day.  Better learn the rules!!