Local Man Adopts CA Practice, Stops Begging Wife To Let Him Treat Her

Acupuncturist Ron Friedman began practicing Community Acupuncture 6 months ago. Formerly the owner of a 4-year-old boutique acupuncture practice that saw no more than 12 patients in any given week, he decided to convert to a CA practice.  With some philosophical adjusting and hard work he increased his weekly average to 80 patients a week and is finally making a living doing acupuncture.  These days he is very happy and so are the members of his community, who now have access to affordable acupuncture treatments.  However, no one is happier than his wife, Kara, who no longer has to offset her husbands mounting career frustration by succumbing to his constant, nagging requests to let him treat her.  “He used to ask me if I would let him stick me and I would agree even though I hated it”, said Kara, a 38-year-old sales executive.   “I know a lot of people enjoy it but I can’t stand needles.  So believe me when I say that I am thrilled he is seeing so many patients in his new CA practice.  He finally leaves me alone.”

Ron was frustrated with his lack of clientele in his old practice setup, which charged $75 a treatment.  He was only there three days a week and was averaging 8-10 appointments in that time. “I wasn’t getting any business.  I would come home from the office space I was renting from a chiropractor having treated one or two clients a day.  It was very frustrating.  I would try to get Kara to agree to be treated for even the slightest thing that was bothering her.  Once, she stubbed her toe on the coffee table and I made her let me treat her.  I hadn’t had a patient in a week at that point.  I could tell she was annoyed but she let me do it anyway.”  The situation got so desperate that Kara faked getting nauseous during one of Ron’s treatments so that he would leave her alone in the future.  When that tactic didn’t work she pretended to faint, turning her ankle in the process. That bought her a fresh round of treatments.  

It was actually Kara who discovered the Community Acupuncture Network online while searching for alternative practice models for her husband.  Said Kara, “The whole social justice thing is nice, it really is, but I just wanted him to leave me the hell alone already.  I could always tell when he was going to ask me.   It got to the point that I couldn’t tell him when I was feeling sick because I knew he’d bug the crap out of me and make me feel guilty if I said I didn’t feel like it.  God, I hated it.  I almost puked once at the dinner table trying not to cough.  It was pathetic.”   

She wasn’t the only one in the family forced into a treatment.  He even directed his desperation toward their infant son, Kevin.  “I would walk in the room and there would be Ron, pressing these points on the bottom of the babies feet to get him to stop crying.  I swear, it would just make him cry harder.  Then I’d yell at Ron to leave him alone, can’t you see you’re hurting him and he would get all embarrassed and angry and say something about the babies kidneys and how I don’t support him and don’t I see how hard he works.  Then he’d go for a drive.  Thank God for CAN and that he is actually seeing patients.  I think I would have divorced him.”

Ron’s Community Acupuncture is open 5 days a week from 2-6pm.

The Zang Fool
Author: The Zang Fool

<p> This is a satirical blog post by a practitioner that is serious in his attempts to both increase acupunctures accessibility to the public and challenge practitioners preconceived notions of what acupuncture is and how it functions in society. It may make you laugh, but that is just a means to an end. That end is thought and ultimately positive change. This is what all good satire does: prick, prod and provoke thought and positive change within a community. </p> <p> Satire has long been a part of muckraking and this profession is teeming with muck.  So, in the wake of the nonsense spewed from the foul anus of the Acupuncture-Industrial Complex come my musings on life, love and the proposed doctoral program. </p>

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