New FPD Poll Finds CAN Divided

As the deadline for comments to ACAOM draws near, an alarming new poll finds the Community Acupuncture Network divided over the first professional doctorate for AOM.When asked ‘What do you think of FPD supporters?’ only 56% of CAN members found the supporters of the FPD to be ‘deluded, annoying idiots’.

The other 44% classified FPD supporters as ‘evil, lying fuckheads’.

And the division is threatening to tear the organization apart.

“We’re divided at my house,” says Jenna Lorie regarding the sentiment at her busy CA clinic in Berkeley, California.“The arguments can get so heated.You’ll hear sentiment ranging from, ‘God, are these people stoned?’ to ‘They are evil bastards from the bowels of hell!’”

Patients and practitioners alike are locked in a heated debate as to the very essence of people that are supporting what may either be ‘a bad idea’ or ‘a plan from Satan’.In an attempt to avoid a split in the organization, the CAN board has issued the following statement:

“While we can all agree that pretty much every supporter of the FPD is an egotistical, self-absorbed asshole to a greater or lesser extent, we must remain together on this issue.Therefore, we encourage all members to refer to FPD supporters as ‘Deluded, evil, annoying, idiot, lying fuckheads.’”

  The compromise seems to have mollified CAN members and brought about a shaky accord at a critical moment in the FPD debate.

Author: The Zang Fool

<p> This is a satirical blog post by a practitioner that is serious in his attempts to both increase acupunctures accessibility to the public and challenge practitioners preconceived notions of what acupuncture is and how it functions in society. It may make you laugh, but that is just a means to an end. That end is thought and ultimately positive change. This is what all good satire does: prick, prod and provoke thought and positive change within a community. </p> <p> Satire has long been a part of muckraking and this profession is teeming with muck.  So, in the wake of the nonsense spewed from the foul anus of the Acupuncture-Industrial Complex come my musings on life, love and the proposed doctoral program. </p>